A recording for Steve Rogers
by saydeciam
Summary: Steve rogers finds living in the 21st century weird and unsettling, but life without Bucky means a part of him is always missing. During an interview for Americas greatest tv show, a recording for Steve Rogers from James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes is released.


Avengers

Just a recording right?

Steve rogers finds living in the 21st century weird and unsettling, but life without Bucky means a part of him is always missing. During an interview for Americas greatest tv show, a recording for Steve Rogers from James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes is released.

"Remember Cap', if they ask you about your views on political debates say you have no comment" Tony advised, whilst patting Steve down in preparation for his interview. "And if they ask you anything you're uncomfortable with, steer the conversation around" Bruce added whilst seated from the cosy brown leather sofa located back stage of the interview hall.

Steve sucked in a large breath, mentally trying to calm his nerves. He had undergone a genetic experiment; he had marched into war, fought off hydra agents and aliens, why was sitting on a stage for 30 minutes live on tv so hard?

From the distance, the host - beautiful and famous Michelle Sullivan- yelled "-please give a warm welcome to Steve Rogers, otherwise known as Captain Americccaaaaaa!"

Steve gave one final small smile to the rest of Avengers whilst walking on stage. He was instantly forced to squint from the too bright spot light faced on him. The crowd roared on approval, little kids waving flags at him and their mums glancing at him in appreciation. He gave a large smile -albeit fake- to the crowd and sat down next to Michelle on the bright red seats.

"Welcome Captain" Michelle said, smiling warmly and brightly as she brushed back her long blonde hair.

"Thanks Michelle, and please, call me Steve" he said as members from the crowd whistled from the sound of his baritone voice.

"Of course. So, Steve, tell us how you're adjusting to the 21st century" the hostess asked, turning back to face the cameras. Steve mimicked her actions by also turning his body to face the crowd and the cameras simultaneously. Allowing himself to blush, he responded. "Well several things are different here. First, the technology is advanced - I find myself struggling when trying to use google and bing. In addition to this, the food is so much better and different. Food I never could have eaten before are available in every shop, its overwhelming." Michelle tittered slightly as the crowd cooed together.

"And on the subject of things before more available", Michelle continued as her face became quite devious, " how do you find the reaction from the ladies?"

Steve's was aware that his face must be profoundly red. He gave an embarrassed laugh as he replied. "All of the ladies here are certainly beautiful, but I do find myself a bit out of place. In my day" -he was sure his face was even more red now "you had to court a lady for several months. Now I find that women are certainly more forward- not that its a bad thing" hr added quickly, not wanting the crowd to gather the wrong impression.

"So I'm assuming that there is no in the future?" She asked, her face questioning. He shook his head in response.

Michelle then stood, facing the crowd. "In appreciation of you're heroic effort for America, we have two surprises for you!"she cried out, encouraging the crowd to roar.

"ladies and gentleman, welcome to the stage...Jacques Dernier and Gabe Jones!" For the first time on stage, Steve smiled widely and happily. He stood to welcome two of his closest friends, giving them both a hug. Gabe whispered "welcome back" in his ears whilst Dernier just clapped him on the back.

As all three men sat on the seats as the crowd still applauded, Steve was curious enough to ask "so if this is my first surprise, what's the second?". The crowd cheered in enthusiasm before slowly quieting down in anticipation.

"Well..." Michelle trailed off, smiling hesitantly, "my team found an authentic recording from James Buchanan Barnes to you" she finished, as the crowd went wild.

Steve sucked in a sharp breath, quietly amazed at the statement. As the crowd was finally silent, the sound of Bucky's voice filled the hall.

"so, this is Gabe's idea. Guaranteed to be stupid" Bucky said laughing slightly as Gabe gave a snort of derision.

"Basically, you're meant to record a message in case you die for the most important person in you're life"

Steve's heart soared in happiness and amazement.

"so, I guess I'll start. When I met you, you were this tiny boy who had this big heart. You were always protect others, even at the cost of your own pain. I always wanted to protect you, even if you didn't need it. But watching you sick with pneumonia or tuberculosis, it made me want to protect you"

Bucky's voice trailed off, encouraging curiosity from Steve about what he was next to say.

"this is unpatriotic for me to say, but although I joined the army to protect Americans, a large part of it was for you". A dawning realisation of understanding began to occur on many of the audience, whilst Gabe and Dernier looked comfortable and unshocked.

"If I die in this war, then know I died for you. I'll dir with your face in my mind and name on my lips. I guess I'm saying what I've always wanted to say, what I think Gabe always knew. I love you Steve"

As the audience gasped in shock, Steve's heart simultaneously leapt and broke.

"you were the best thing I ever had. I always loved you and always will, no matter what. So marry a girl, have kids and raise them like you always wanted to. Just remember that I loved you. It was always you Steve." Bucky's voice trailed off, overcome with emotion.

Those five words were what caused chaos to erupt. Steve paid no attention to the obvious shock from the audience and the millions if viewers, instead he paid attention to the tear trailing down his face. His breathing quickened and his hands clenched.

He stood. The crowd went silent. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he walked off the stage and went to his private room.

The instant he entered the room and the door was shut, he collapsed into a sobbing mess. He had always loved Bucky and suspected the feeling was reciprocated, but was always too scared. Partly because of being rejected, but mainly due to the stigma it would place on Captain America.

Bucky was always the most important thing to him, but he had placed Captain America before him. He had lost Bucky forever due to his fears. What kind of role model was he?

He stood up, suddenly determined to speak out once and for all. As he walked back to the stage, he ignored the looks from dozens of people and focused on what he was going to say.

It was obvious his re-emergence on stage was unexpected, judging from the echoing gasps from the crowd and the raised eyebrow from Gabes wrinkled face. He walked back to his seat and took it, taking a steadying breath and facing Michelle.

"any questions?" He asked her, trying to ignore the crowd.

She smiled slightly before saying "it's obvious that this was a bit of a shock to you. What's your response?"

It seemed her question was one everyone's mind as the crowd moved forward in unison.

Steve realised that this was the most important moment for him since his resurrection.

"I came from an era where to people of the same gender loving each other was wrong. It wa instilled with us. As you all heard, Bucky loved me and died before he ever told me that. But at least he had the courage to say it"

He looked up into the crowd. "I'm a coward" he simply said, ignoring the shaking heads of the audience.

"I loved Bucky". The statement drew forth mixed reactions. Some of the crowd cheered happiness, others were silent in shock. The worst reaction was of those who were obviously homophobic.

"I loved Bucky" he repeated again. "but I never told him because I was scared, because I was Captain America. And he died never knowing I loved him. I will always regret never telling him. I don't want to be a public figure who promotes homophobia. Because I don't. I loved Bucky and always will. So if you love someone, tell them. You never know what will happen" he finished off, slightly overwhelmed with regret and sadness. He then walked off, glad that he said what he wanted to.

He meant it all. He did regret his lack of action. He always would.

For months following the interview 'Captain America being gay' was the most talked about news item. Many people were supportive, always contacting him to tell them how his story inspired them to confess their love.

Although Steve was glad that he was no longer hiding a large part of himself, he still carried the constant regret and love for Bucky.

This lasted up until the appearance of the winter soldier, who was found to be Bucky. It took months, but eventually he was able to bring the Bucky he once knew out of the winter soldier.

"ladies and gentleman, welcome back to the stage, one year later, Captain America and his husband James Buchanan Barnes!"

The crowd all went wide, glad to find Captain America with his true love.

"all I want to say is thankyou. If I didn't listen to that recording, I wouldn't have admitted a long hidden truth. One year later, I am now happily married. Everything I've wanted has come true"

"I don't regret anything anymore".


End file.
